Mental Health Month 3rd Annual Book Fundraiser

So I realise I have done a lot of posts over on facebook with regards to this book fundraiser.

I've been asked a few times "Why are you helping a book fundraiser that benefits America when you don't even live there?"

Well to answer that question, Mental health is the same no matter where you live. Just because I live in New Zealand doesn't make the anxiety and depression I have struggled with any different to someone living over there. Even though it effects people differently it is still the same and the more people talk about it the less it becomes a secret and something that can be talked about openly so that those who need help can get it.

Last year I posted this - I was 16 when I was first diagnosed with depression. I used to have anxiety attacks at school and suffered severely with self esteem issues and a whole pile of other things. While I am not on medication now and obviously function quite well as a 30yr old (Well with the help of coffee and some amazing friends) I know first hand this horrible disease is not something that you can just snap out of or should be ignored. Thought I'd expand a little on that. At 16 I was in a dark hole and wasn't equipped back then to handle it at all.

As I said I suffered anxiety and wouldn't walk anywhere by myself. I hated school and in my head everyone was saying nasty things about me (In reality nobody was probably talking about me at all). I was sure everyone hated me and that I was worthless. I was lucky, not with the fact I suffered from this but that I had enough courage to talk to the school councillor and to my mother (After a lot of prodding on her end). I was extremely lucky that I was able to get help. At 19 I went through it again, this time though it was different. I recognised the signs. My anxiety comes back 10 fold when I'm depressed. Again I was fortunate that I worked for a awesome company who sort a councillor for me and I was on medication again.

At 26yrs old I became a Mum for the first time. I was sleep deprieved and devastated that I couldn't feed my child and at 11wks old after battling she was fully bottle feed. I remember feeling absolutely useless and isolated that everyone else was able to do it and I couldn't. Again I was lucky I had a awesome support network and pulled through without the help of medication this time.

Now at 31 I can see all the wonderful things I have accomplished and I am proud that I have managed to pull through some of most horrible times in my life and they have made me a stronger person.

Some people are not as lucky as I have been. For one reason or another these people were strong for so long and just needed relief or peace. Some were probably thinking their families would be better off without them because of all the hurt that was happening. I know myself I have had those thoughts, that the world would be better and my family wouldn't suffer and feel my pain and hurt if I was gone. This month is about giving those people a voice and showing those that suffer that people do care and that there is help out there. That they matter and that the world is a better place because you can talk about what your feeling and how to cope and most importantly for me that you are not alone. Regardless of what country you live in for me this month shows me that I am not alone and through what I went through maybe I can help others.

For a list of all the books supporting this Book Fundraiser check it out here

#mentalhealthawareness